The truth about a feud

I took my time 

Deciding on if this feud was worth it

Between you and me

Was it worth the pain and the hardship and the hurt

Was it worth taking you back even though I could never look at you the same 

Was it worth lying every time I said I loved you

Was it worth dying inside every time you touched me

I tried and think what it keeps me here

After all you said in that small feud

It still hurts 

Your sorries mean nothing when the names you called me meant something

You didn't mean for me to here it but you meant for it to be said

So I am wondering 

If the feud was worth it

But without it I would never known how you really feel

Do I disgust you that much?

Well that sucks

Cause no other human is gonna want you like I use to