Cooly different

I wanted things to be
risque
damaging
haunting
exciting
And yet it was
weird
depressing
saddening
disappointing
For a
good while
a couple of days
too many hours
but not a lifetime
What have
I done
I said
I told
I lied about
To get me to this
hole
dark corner
small space
unrelenting repetitive response
I just wanted things
risque
damaging
haunting
exciting
Was there anything
wrong
right
bad
good
In that?