It was easier than

I didn't do because I liked it. I did it because it was easier than. It was so easy to go to the corner and meet him. Slide him ten dollars in a quick handshake and in return get it in the other hand. It was easy to walk back down the alley with it in my hand. My family knew what I was. My daughters were aware of what I had become so no more guilt and having to hide my dirty little secret. I could past them right now and they would hug me and keep walking. Hug me out of respect and not such  much out of love. Honor thy mother and father. The only reason I think they treat me with such kindness. But no they were always kind.  I pass the friends I had fun with last night. I my what kind of friend would let another have such dangerous fun. It dosent matter I got to escape from my truth if only for a while. The truth that I have cheated on my wife and she left me. That I only cheated with the other woman because she was stupid enough to by me a truck. That I have not bought my daughters anything in ten years. That I don't know my grandchildren. That I did not teach my daughters any life lessons. That now I live on the streets because its easier then to take reposibilty I have in the mess of my life. I meet other parents and they have never met thier child. At least I call mine. At least I can spot them in a crowd. But what good is that when they don't really want to talk. I hate that I have that with them. I hate that I never tucked them in At night or was there prom night or got to chase away boys. I just got to chase what's in my hand. It was easier than.